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Writer's pictureCoach Gary

Balancing Relationships And A Racing Career

Updated: Mar 1


Introduction:


Are you open to where your racing career may lead you? Are you truly ready for all the opportunities that could come your way? Are you prepared to stay away from familiy, friends and partners to train and improve?

These are the questions that crossed my mind as I embarked on my journey to establish myself as a professional motocross racer back in 2006. In this blog post, I'll take you through the challenges and choices I faced, including the impact of having a girlfriend and other distractions while pursuing my dream.


The Tug of Ambition:


2006 marked the year when my long-held beliefs and the limits I placed on myself would be put to the test. I was on a mission to become the best motocross racer I could be, working tirelessly with my mentor, Mervyn Anstie. Simultaneously, I was balancing a job as a carpenter to secure a steady income. My commitment was evident as I spent every Wednesday away from work, engaging in intense training with Merv, and even assisting him at his Saturday schools. My journey also took me all over Europe, where I raced and also supported Max and Mervyn, at the EMX rounds.


A Singular Focus:


My life had become singularly focused on achieving my motocross goals. The majority of my time was devoted to working, training, traveling, racing, or catching up on much-needed sleep. But amidst this pursuit, there was a significant factor in my life that would take center stage - a girlfriend.


Unveiling Opportunities:


Meeting and working with Mervyn Anstie opened doors I hadn't known existed. It revealed an entire universe of possibilities and opportunities in the motocross world. It offered me an intimate glimpse into the lives of the pros at the very highest level – where they resided, how they trained, and the sacrifices they made to be the best. The question arose: was I truly ready for these opportunities, and could I give up what I was for what I could become?


The Initial Resistance:


I was determined to do whatever it took to improve, but my mind and belief system clung to my old self, not being able to see where it could all lead or having the vision of 'how' I could achieve it! A vivid memory remains of a pivotal phone call from Merv while my girlfriend sat beside me in the car. "Gary! I have an entry for you for Switzerland's European round, we need to leave on Thursday." I was elated, ready to change my work schedule to make it happen. But as I hung up the phone, my girlfriend was simply staring at me, her excitement nowhere to be found. Instead, she issued an ultimatum: "If you go, I won't be here when you get back."


A Challenging Decision:


Did I go? The answer, to my regret, was no.


Hindsight and Realization:


In hindsight, I recognize that I was young and naive, unable to see the red flags that hinted at the misalignment in our relationship. It wasn't a conventional situation, and I was driven to achieve my goals. While she wasn't a bad person, I struggled to balance my aspirations with her vision for our future. In return, she resented my pursuit of personal growth and amount of time I was spending away training and racing.


The Opportunity Cost:


Turning down the Switzerland opportunity was just the beginning of a series of choices I made to preserve the relationship. Another notable instance was when I decided to return home instead of staying in California, a choice that could have propelled my motocross career. Looking back, I realize how frustrating I must have been to my coach, repeatedly blocking myself from seizing opportunities. His vision and belief of what I could achieve was higher than my own! My focus was more on what I might lose rather than what I could gain and become.


A Lesson Learned:


In conclusion, I wasn't ready for these opportunities at that stage of my life. As I grew older on my journey, I began to have more expectations of settling down and leading a "normal" life. When you're younger, the world is your oyster, and you carry fewer responsibilities, which allows you to wholeheartedly embrace opportunities. There's ample time to settle down and pursue "normal" endeavors. It's crucial to establish your ambitions and goals first and be prepared to sacrifice the social and romantic aspects of life to become the best version of yourself.


Guiding Others:


Through these realizations, I can now use my experiences to guide aspiring riders, encouraging them not to block themselves as I once did. These choices are not easy, but they are essential in navigating the path to achieving one's dreams.


Final Thoughts and Questions:


These are my experiences and opinions, and your journey may differ. You may have an incredible support system in your life. But what if an opportunity arose to race and live in another country, and your significant other couldn't join you? Would you hold yourself back, or would you take the chance to follow your passion and give yourself the best shot at making it happen?


Share your thoughts and experiences.


I will leave you with a quote from Eric Thomas inspired by Charles dickens.


"You have to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are, for what you will become."


Thanks for reading

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